It’s amazing how one little word — “should” — can quietly take over your life.
You should take this.
You should be more like that.
You should push through, even when your body is begging you to stop.
You should have done more, achieved more, been more.
And over time, all those “shoulds” pile up. They don’t just shape your choices—they shape your energy, your confidence, and even your health.
Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you try, it’s never enough?
Or like your own body and mind are working against you?
For me, one “should” changed everything. It was the domino that tipped me into my first autoimmune disease… and then, just a few years later, perimenopause added its own challenges.
This is the story of how it happened, how I learned to listen to my body, and what it took to finally stop letting “should” run my decisions.
How One Decision Triggered Autoimmune Disease
Do you remember a time you went against your gut… just to keep the peace or meet someone else’s expectations?
That’s exactly what happened to me.
I was 28 when my boss told me I should get a vaccine for work.
I remember this little whisper in my gut saying, “Mandi, this isn’t right for you.” But instead of listening, I did what I had always done — I ignored my body’s voice and followed the rules.
That choice triggered Guillain-Barré Syndrome, a rare autoimmune condition.
Within days, I went from walking and working… to being completely paralyzed from the eyes down.
I couldn’t feed myself. I couldn’t speak clearly. My eyes stopped producing tears. My mouth was so dry I could barely swallow.
Imagine going from full independence to not being able to lift a fork in less than a week.
I was in the hospital for weeks, wondering if I’d ever get my life back.
And here’s the thing — you’d think an experience like that would be enough to change the way you live forever, right? To slow down, to listen to your body, to never ignore it again?
But here’s my truth: I went right back to “should,” and let it run me and my life again. Like returning to the arms of someone you know is all wrong for you, but it’s familiar.
Why do we do that? Why do we survive something life-altering,
and then go right back to the patterns that broke us?
For me, after months of rehabilitation, I regained my ability to walk and move, but I was far from healthy. My nervous system was fried. And my immune system stayed on high alert.
But instead of resting, I told myself:
“You should get back to work.”
“You should be there for everyone.”
“You should be grateful you can walk again — so stop complaining.”
Sound familiar?
If you’re a woman in midlife dealing with autoimmune symptoms or perimenopause, you probably know this feeling.
You’re exhausted, but you keep pushing because slowing down feels like letting people down.
And here’s the dangerous thing about survival mode — it’s meant to be temporary.
Living there long-term? It will take everything from you.
And it did for me.
The Spiral into Perimenopause
By my early 30s, I was running on fumes. My new and worsening autoimmune symptoms were flaring more often. My gut health was a wreck. My sleep was completely broken.
And couple of years later the hormone changes started.
I didn’t even know you could go into perimenopause that early. But there it was. Brain fog, mood swings, hot flashes, night sweats, and this bone-deep fatigue that made me feel decades older than I was.
I remember thinking, Is this really it? Is this just how my life is going to feel from now on?
What I didn’t realize then was how connected autoimmune issues and perimenopause really are.
Chronic stress and inflammation make hormone shifts hit harder. And when your nervous system is stuck in overdrive, your body can’t find its balance.
I felt like my body had betrayed me. But over time, I learned something that changed everything.
It wasn’t easy, and it meant advocating for myself even when doctors seemed to be set on making me feel crazy.
But after a lot of digging and learning, I realized my body hadn’t been betraying me at all. It had been protecting me, in the only way it knew how.
Why Midlife Women Can’t Ignore Nervous System Health
There wasn’t one big “aha” moment. No magic supplement or single doctor’s visit that fixed it all.
It was a series of small but powerful changes.
- I learned how to calm my nervous system so my body could finally shift out of fight-or-flight.
- I worked on restoring my gut health so my hormones could stabilize.
- I started creating boundaries — and actually keeping them — so I could say no without guilt.
And here’s a big one: I began honoring what my body was asking for, instead of pushing it away.
This is exactly what I now teach my clients — that healing isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing what actually supports your body.
It’s about shifting from “I should” to “I choose.”
- And slowly, the exhaustion started to lift.
- My autoimmune flares became less frequent.
- My perimenopause symptoms became more manageable.
I started to feel like myself again. Not the overworked, burned-out version of me, but the woman I was always meant to be. And that was enough. More than enough.
Reclaiming Your Life Through Autoimmune and Perimenopause Challenges
So maybe you’re in that place — living with autoimmune symptoms, hormone changes, or that unshakable fatigue that makes you wonder if this is just your “new normal.”
I want you to hear me: there is another way.
- You don’t have to live at the mercy of “should.”
- You can learn to work with your body instead of against it.
- You can rebuild your energy, balance your hormones, and feel like you again.
It’s not instant. It’s not always easy. But it is possible.
And you deserve it.
You are not broken, you are not alone.
Let’s rise — together.